Tuesday, September 24, 2013

The ABC's Of Dealing With Negative People Part II

This is a continuation from a previous post. Read here to catch up on the ABC's of dealing with negative people. 

In the last post, we started to cover some strategies to help us to deal with the negative people in our lives, especially when we can't avoid them. We covered the importance of abstaining from engaging in negativity, breathing our way through it, communicating our feelings, detaching ourselves emotionally and distancing ourselves physically, employing a buffer, and practicing forgiveness

What else can we do to protect ourselves, especially when someone repeatedly drains us? And how do you maintain a sense of compassion without getting ensnared in their web? Here are more strategies:

G. Gratitude. Negative people are so busy complaining, criticizing, and chastising that they leave no room for gratitude. To combat their negativity, practicing giving gratitude, appreciation, and love for the people and things around you. By acknowledging that you are grateful, you'll become a deliberate attractor of positive vibrations. If anything, be thankful for that person serving as a reminder to you to remain positive.

H. Hot-Word. If the negative person is willing to change his or her ways and thinking, agree on a “hot-word” or code word to use whenever that person says something negative. In the movie, Meet the Fockers, Dina uses the code word "muskrat" whenever Jack is being inappropriate or rude with Greg. It was her way of telling Jack to be quiet.

I. Imagine a protective white bubble or shield surrounding you. This is a simple exercise that has surprising results. Visualizing a protective force field around you helps you to feel that their negativity can’t penetrate you. This can be done beforehand or in the presence of the negative person without his or her knowledge.

J. Journal. After spending time with a negative person, it’s important to decompress. Sometimes it takes hours to rid yourself of their energy. Write down your feelings and concerns. Journaling about it helps to alleviate the pressure. Keep a small notebook handy, and when you begin to feel overwhelmed, excuse yourself to the bathroom or somewhere quiet, and take a few minutes to write it out of your system so that you can recharge.

K. Kill ‘em with kindness. This does not mean to act kindly outwardly to the person while inwardly judging them. When we do this, we are trying to manipulate the situation or someone’s opinion about us; we are coming from the ego, rather than from the heart. Instead, apply kindness to yourself and coax yourself off the high horse of “they’re wrong and I’m right.” Let go of the attachment of wanting any kindness in exchange. Be kind from an authentic place.

L. Learn. If there is one particular person who drains you the most, examine why it is affecting you so much. Rather than let that person throw you into an emotional tizzy, analyze what feelings are being brought up within you, and use them to learn about yourself.

Dealing with negative people can be quite challenging; they have the ability to change the moods of others in an instant, but only if we allow them. As long as we are aware of those influences, we can prepare and protect ourselves so that they don't infect us. It's our choice to let negative people infect us or not.

This series will continue tomorrow.

In the meantime, if you'd like to share some of the ways in which you deal with negativity, please post your comments below. 


  1. What a great post! I know I can use these reminders and am half tempted to print this out and post it everywhere so I can nip my own negative behavior in the bud!

    1. Thank you, Sheri. We need to do what we can to push us forward in a positive direction. Thank you for stopping by and commenting! Let me know how you make out.

  2. You know....the way I used to deal with negitive people I would block them from my life...I would not see them...my brain kinda don't recognized them...so I come across mean.....now I do recognize them but Im professional with them especially this SUZYQ person...I now pray for her too...it was hard to get to that place but I did...pray..n pray for myself that im impeccable with my word...and how I deliever my message.....I had to work very hard on this but I got there...UNFORTUNATELY SuzyQ has not grown or is willing to see herself....its definitely a scary processes but so worth it....I'm very blessed to have this spiritual growth...and I'm a better person too.

    1. Anonymous, it sounds like you are doing things to better your environment at work. And I like how you are incorporating "the four agreements" into your life to keep joy coming into you life rather than negativity. All you can do for SuzyQ is send blessings her way and go on with your life.