Wednesday, September 25, 2013

The ABC's Of Dealing With Negative People Part III

In this series of "The ABC's Of Dealing With Negative People," we've covered many strategies to help us cope with those who are chronically negative so that we don't become infected with such energy.

We've looked at abstinence, breath work, communication, detachment, employing a buffer, and forgiveness in the first part of the series. 

In the second part of this series, we've looked at giving gratitude, using a "hot-word" or code word, imagining a protective shield around you, journaling your feelings as an outlet, choosing kindness, and learning about yourself in the face of negativity. 

Having an action plan that allows you to act in a way that doesn't reinforce their negativity and one that may even help them is key. Let's examine some more strategies.

M. Model positivity. Energy is contagious. Focusing on the negativity of others will only create more negativity. You will only be brought down when you allow it. Instead, focus on your own energy. Keep your enthusiasm high. Whenever you are presented with negative information, put a positive spin on it. Make your positive energy bigger than their negative energy.

N. Numbers don’t lie. Research shows that negative people have significantly higher rates of stress, disorders, and disease. Our mental state plays a huge role in our physical health. Take time to engage in activities that keep your stress levels under control.

O. Ownership. Own your thoughts. Own your emotions. Own your life. Instead of pointing out what the negative person is doing wrong, ask yourself what you can do to better the situation. Shift your focus from their negativity to your positivity. Own what you are feeling and maintain a positive boundary. If you have been enabling the situation, own up to it, and then make the necessary changes for positive growth. Remember, you are not responsible for their behavior, only yours. Empower your life by owning it.

P. Perceive the person in a more positive light. Be willing to see and focus on the good qualities in that person. Sometimes people trap ourselves when they focus only on the person's negative attributes, thus perpetuating the negativity. If you aren't ready to change the way you look at him or her, give it time. Trust that you'll make this step when the time is right.

Q. Quiet your emotional response. Negative people feed on strong reactions from others. They will poke and prod with their comments because they want a reaction. They look for ways to push our hot buttons, and if we're not aware of their actions, they'll push them every time. Why they do this could be because they lack love, positivity, and warmth in their own lives. Resist the urge to return judgment by keeping your own emotions under control. Any emotional reaction from you gives them the go-ahead to continue because it lets them know that they can depend on you for a reaction.

R. Refuse to take things personally. Negative people can be quite critical with their insensitive, hurtful, rude, angry comments, especially when directed at you. Rather than let those comments infect you, remember that words in themselves have no meaning, until you apply meaning. Objectify the comments by saying, "That's a different perspective," or "That's a point of view I've not heard before," or "You are entitled to your own opinion," and leave it at that. Deflecting or neutralizing negative comments puts you in control, and when negative people see that they can't get a reaction out of you, they will move on to someone else.

S. Smile and remain completely detached. Whenever a negative tsunami hits, just smile and don’t say anything. Excuse yourself and leave the room if you must. Just don’t get involved. Negative people want to stir you up, catch you in their web, and start draining you of your energy. Remember, they want you to react; it gives them all the power. To detach, step back inside of yourself, find your center, and simply observe what is unfolding. Pretend you are watching a reality TV show, and smile, knowing that their unhappiness has nothing to do with you.

The healthiest approach you can take is to examine your actions and conduct yourself in ways that do not reinforce the person's negativity.

Stay tuned for tomorrow's final post in this series. 

To catch up, please click on the links below:

Read here for Part II.

Your comments are valuable. Please share your ideas to help others.


  1. Penny,

    Great post on how to deal with it now! Then, the best step anyone can do is stay so high vibration that they stop attracting the negativity to themselves.

    You only attract that which you are in thought and vibration, either by being it or by being very worried or opposed to it.

    Once you get out of that and stay positive and high vibration, you will find that they zig while you zag.

    Your paths will rarely, if ever, cross.

    Then, you will have no need to "deal with" them as they won't be there.

    In the mean time, while someone gets high




    1. You are right. Staying in such a high vibration is the best way to stop attracting negativity to oneself. It starts with us. When we learn to make better choices to serve our highest good, we will begin to eliminate those things from our lives that once held us down. Thanks for your insight and for commenting! As always, I appreciate your thoughts. :)

    2. Exactly!

      My post above chopped off. LOL

      The rest if it all the things that are suggested in this post and get on the path to getting there.



    3. Yeah, I thought something was strange there, especially when it ended with "In the meantime, while someone gets high..." LOL. :)

  2. If SuzyQ doesn't own does she ever transform? Or is she stuck...sometimes its awful to deal with these vampires when they just don't own up....and its a harsh to deal with them......only thing I have learned is just to stay positive keep feeling grateful of what i have.. I'm very blessed and grateful of not being that kind of person that Suzyq is....and I'm grateful of you pen on continue to guide me thru myown journey.....

    1. Anonymous, SuzyQ has to become aware of her actions before she makes any changes. She may not want to change. And it's not your job to try to change her. She has to WANT to change. You are responsible for your actions only. Continue feeling blessed and grateful. I'm always here to guide :) Love ya, girl!