Monday, November 11, 2013

Say Yes to Your No

Day 10 of 29 Days of Spiritual Messages.

Today's little gem of a passage comes from Mahatma Gandhi.

Let's see what shiny shards of wisdom we can gather for our spiritual growth.

"A 'No' uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble."

How many times have we said yes when we really meant no?

If we can't say no and mean it, then we can't say yes and mean it. 

No conviction on one end means no conviction on the other.

All too often, people give in to the requests or demands of others at the expense of their own happiness or sanity. 


They say yes as a way to minimize friction, avoid fights, or because it's just too hard to speak up. 

Saying no can be very difficult, especially for those who want to be all things to all people. Saying no puts them at risk for disapproval. 

Learning the power of the word no is about making healthy, conscious, deliberate choices. Saying yes when we mean no means we are out of alignment with ourselves, with our passion, and with our Source.

When we learn to say no to the things that don't serve us, then we create the space to say yes to the things that truly matter to us.

What makes it difficult at first is that it forces us into the position to decide. It forces us to consciously choose, and this scares the hell out of some people. What if we choose and it doesn't work? 

But what if it does?

Courtesy Google Images
Saying no when we mean no is about reclaiming our power. As we say yes to meet someone else's requests or demands when our hearts are screaming no, we give up our power to that person. Each yes to that person is a no to us. This opens the door to anguish, anger, resentment or total submission, and we lose our self-respect. 

Saying no when we mean no is about honoring ourselves. We have needs, too. We have dreams and desires, and we deserve to get what we want, but if we are too busy meeting the demands of others without proper boundaries, we are the ones who lose out. 

Consider these questions before you give an automatic yes:

Am I feeling in alignment with this?
Is this what I really want?
Do I feel passionate about this?
Why am I about to say yes when I really mean no?

Saying yes to your no will give your life back to you.



  1. There was so many times I wanted desperately say no. But growing up I always wanted to please my patents...n it was hard to say many times my mom brought me ugly clothes for Christmas n I would cry if I didn't like was so hard...but as I got old I had to go to therapy n my therapist said u must say no to mom. N then she said to mom you don't have agree with her but must allow the n to come out of we both needed to step back n say was a journey for myself to grow in a positive way....n my therapist was right ...n we worked on it....n to this day we r very respectful to each others NOs...n It has given my life back ....

    1. True, we want to please the people we love, but we don't want to be taken advantage of either, so boundaries need to be established so there is a fair balance in the relationship. Saying NO does bring your life back to you. Good for you in taking the steps to take care of yourself.
      Peace & Blessings.