The I am not or the I can't mentality is not uncommon. Throughout life we've been through a conditioning process that's created this sort of mind-set. You didn't win that contest, and you think I am not talented. You were criticized, and you think I am not good enough. You failed a test, and you think I am not smart. You are faced with a challenge, and you think I can't do this.
Each time you think I am not this or I can't do that, you block the inherent creative force you were born to use.
Overcoming this mentality requires reconstructing your I Am statements. The words I am are much more than a pronoun married to a state-of-being verb. They define who we are and what we are capable of, and they are holy expressions for the name of God (remember when God spoke to Moses, announcing his name as I am that I am?). I am is the highest aspect of yourself; it is your Divine Self. Take care which descriptors you use after I am, or you will negate your Divine nature.
When it comes to reconstructing your I am statements, it's important to practice using words to define yourself only in ways that are compatible with your highest self, and then the unseen forces of the universe will conspire to supply you with the happiness, love, and success you've imagined. Begin to focus your attention on the words that follow the sacred I am. This is key to releasing the creative force within.
If you've been saying I am incapable, stop! This is self-sabotaging. You ARE capable. Shift to I am capable. If you've been thinking I am not lucky in love, shift to I am love. Reword your inner world for this is a beginning step to accessing the assistance of your higher self. You want what follows I am to be congruent with your higher self; this alignment will synchronistically invite the guidance you need.
Overcoming the I am not mentality begins with trusting your inner world of spirit, where there are no boundaries and where all things are possible.
Try it for yourself. Think of some things that you would like to define your life. Then shift from I am not or I am hoping to to a strong, heart-felt I AM, and let me know what happens.